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Bridget: Another year, a brand new diary. Once again I was summoned, kicking and screaming, to my mother’s turkey curry buffet, where I’ve had some of the most shaming experiences of my life.
　　
　　Mother: Hello, darling. Lovely to see you.
　　
　　Bridget: It was, as usual, crammed full with some of the most dangerous perverts in the UK, disguised as close, personal friends of my parents.
　　
　　Una: Hello, Bridget.
　　
　　Bridget: Hello, Una. Oh, no, thanks.
　　
　　Una: Love thejumper.
　　
　　Geoffrey: I prefer what’s underneath it.
　　
　　Bridget: Uncle Geoffrey!
　　
　　Geoffrey: Hello, gorgeous.
　　
　　Bridget: Hello.
　　
　　Dad: Hello, darling.
　　
　　Bridget: Hello, Dad. How’s it going?
　　
　　Dad: I wish I was dead.
　　
　　Bridget: But this year, there was one crucial difference. Nice jumper.
　　
　　Mark: My mother’s taste neverfalters.
　　
　　Bridget: Never. You always wonder how it’s going to work out at the end of the story. Maria and Captain Von Trapp, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Mark Darcy and Bridget Jones. I’ve found my happy ending at last. Andnothing in the world can spoil it. Well, almost nothing.
　　
　　Richard: Bridget Jones, what the fuck are you doing?
　　
　　Bridget: I, I can’t see anywhere soft to land.
　　
　　Richard: How about on your ass? Bridget, unless you want toget sackedat 6,000 feet, you will be on your way in exactly three seconds. Three, two, one… cue Bridget.